It seems pretty straightforward; only choose people who choose you. Yet when we spend our time around the wrong kind of people we can forget our worth and importantly, that the people we surround ourselves with should choose us back. After all, its like what Chobsky said in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, "we accept the love we think we deserve."
For years I surrounded myself with people who didn't share my values or drive and ambition to make a difference to the world we live in. Whilst I would have done anything to make these people happy they did not have my best interest at heart and my attempts to gain their approval were often futile at best. Since I have shed these relationships I have felt so much lighter and happier, having surrounded myself with people who share the same vision as I do.
Stop Making Excuses for Toxic People
Stop making excuses for the boy who will never commit to you yet expects you to remain loyal. Stop making excuses for the friend who never shows up for coffee or shopping dates yet posts about their epic adventures later that day on snapchat. Stop telling yourself that there is some extraneous force keeping these people from making an effort to keep you in their life. If a person wants to be with you they will. It really is that simple.
Remember your Worth
You deserve more than to spend your time getting ready for a date that never happens because he was "busy" even though you made plans at the start of the week. You deserve more than friends who use you as a "free" lift or meal between paydays. You deserve more than to lie in bed each night questioning why you weren't enough for toxic people who couldn't see your worth. You deserve to love yourself more than anyone else could possibly love you.
After spending so much time around toxic people you can find yourself emotionally and mentally drained, deteriorated and in need of a reminder about the bigger picture. Remember your positive attributes - think about how much you can give to wrong kind of people and how much better it will be to give the same kind of love to the right ones - and tackle your insecurities. Before others can choose you, you need to be able to choose yourself.
Find your Tribe
It is the law of attraction; what you concentrate and put into the atmosphere is ultimately what you receive. Once you have built up the courage and strength to love yourself you will be amazed by both the people and opportunities which will present themselves. Reconnect with old friends, rediscover new hobbies and find causes you are passionate about where you believe you can make a difference. In doing this, you will undoubtedly collect people along the way who share the same aspirations and interests as you do.
Enjoy your own Company
You know what the say, you are lucky to be able to count your true friends on one finger, let alone one hand. Finding your tribe takes time and is also easier said than done. However, this is the time where you can really learn to appreciate your own company. Go to that art exhibition your toxic friends wouldn't dare to be seen at. Learn to make that recipe you saw on Facebook. Apply for all the overseas opportunities you can get your hands on. After all, it is much better to be content and enjoy a good book alone in a coffee shop than surrounded by people who constantly question and berate your worth.